Waahhhh... Kindle... waaaaahhh
ROFL.
There’s a hilarious new post at ireaderreview that pokes fun at people who are now complaining about how cheap the Kindle is (yes these people actually exist) now that everyone and their mothers has slashed prices on their eReaders.
For anyone who is now sore over how ridiculously low the prices are for Kindle, ireaderreview offers 3 “fool proof strategies to minimize the possibility you regret your Kindle purchase”:
The first and 100% guaranteed strategy – Never buy a Kindle.
This is not a joke – This really works. 100% of the people who didn’t buy a Kindle were spared -
- The pain of seeing a lower priced Kindle come out 31 days after they bought their Kindle.
- The regret of seeing a newer Kindle arrive 2 months after they bought their Kindle.
There’s absolutely no possibility that you’ll end up paying too much or buying an almost-outdated version of the Kindle if you never buy one.
I can vouch for this one. In all my years as a Kindle owner *cough*, this is by far the most fool-proof strategy I’ve ever seen for reducing the risk of pain associated with a Kindle purchase to almost 0…. Almost….
Strategy 2: Maximize on either Newness or Value
The second strategy is to figure out which you care more about – getting the lowest priced Kindle or getting the newest Kindle – and then forget optimizing on the other criteria.
If you care only about getting the latest and greatest Kindle buy the forthcoming Kindle 3 on the very day it is released. You’ll probably have a 6 month or longer stretch during which it’ll be the newest Kindle. If your concern is about getting the latest and greatest eReader technology then wait until end of 2010 or early 2011 when color eReaders arrive.
Getting a color eReader has tremendous no-regret potential – Once color eReaders arrive it’ll be at least 2 years until another equally ‘new and shiny’ technology arrives. If the Press are right eReaders might die out soon after color eReaders arrive (they’re supposed to die out sometime in 2011) and you’ll be left with the latest and greatest eReader ever – Zero possibility of regret.
If you care only about price then buy the $139 Refurbished Kindle US after the Kindle 3 has arrived and its price is cut further. A lot of people spend $139 in 2 months just on their wireless bill – You get free wireless for the life of the device. If you want the cheapest possible eReaders search eBay for one of the PDAs from the early 2000s and buy one of those.
OK, I see what they mean… But what about the problem of “I want to have my cake and eat it too”? How can we solve that one? And can you in fact “guarantee” that I will get a solid 6 months of no-regret time when I buy the Kindle 3? I’m gonna need to see some more evidence of this 6-month claim.
Strategy 3: Create an Escape Plan
Thanks to the Kindle’s free wireless and features and thanks to people who are waiting for sub $150, sub $100 and sub $50 eReaders – the resale value of the Kindle is very, very good.
Here’s how you can create an escape plan and minimize regret if your Kindle purchase is followed by a newer Kindle.
Please note that we’ll only consider what you paid for your current Kindle – This doesn’t handle any pain you might feel about unreasonable pricing on the newer Kindle.
- Check the current price you’d pay for a Kindle. Let’s say it’s $189.
- Check the price for which used versions of the previous Kindle are retailing. Let’s say it’s $130.
- Assume you’ll have to sell your Kindle for the same price if a newer Kindle arrives. Add on shipping and a cut for the site you sell through so cut out 20% to get a sale price of $104.
That means you’ll be losing $85 out of the $189 you spent.
So far seems reasonable enough.
Now you have a hard figure to quantify your regret – it’s $85. It’s not $189. It’s not millions of dollars because your feelings were hurt. It’s $85.
LOL. Yes, my feelings were only hurt $85 worth. I guess I can let that go after about 8 days of whining and moaning.
And finally, the best piece of advice EVER for would be Kindle owners, here again reiterated…
If you’re very worried a newer or cheaper Kindle will make you regret buying the Kindle there’s an exceedingly simple solution – Don’t buy the Kindle … ever.
Much thanks to switch11 at ireaderreview for a fantastic post. I am thoroughly amused. And also a bit shocked about the amount of complaining…so much so it warranted this tongue in cheek post.
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